Bottled Up

Today, B was just mentioning to me why do I only have 1 or 2 close friends? And come to think of it... yes that was quite true. And even so, I don't even feel EXTREMELY close to them anymore. Perhaps we are all leading different ways of life now, having different views...

I was browsing through my contact lists just now hoping to find a friend out to chill, and surprisingly enough, 3/4 of my friends in my contact lists are really just hi-bye friends. That kinda feeling really sucked balls. I am even having second thoughts about friends whom I really THOUGHT to be my good/best friends. How often do they actually call and date me out? Its always me taking the initiative, and I am tired of that.

I don't think I am someone who can open up to someone easily, moreover trust them and build a friendship.. But right now, I really really do want to have more friends, quality friends to be exact.

Quality > Quantity.

I can't wait for school to start, can't wait to make more friends and I can't wait to put the past behind me and move on...

To B, I really thank God for you. You're my soulmate, my best friend, my family, my everything.

Thank you for standing by me always.

I just received a comment from some unknown person and it says:

" i wonder what your bf sees in you, honestly."

I wonder if that is a negative comment... but nonetheless, to be honest, I don't even know the answer myself. I don't see myself as a great girl, I know I don't really have the looks, the figure, less the brains.. I throw my temper at the slightest thing, behaves like a princess and demands for everything but yet, he's still here with me for 3 years. So I guess there is still something about me that attracts him to me and that I will have to find out from him.


Sigh I am feeling really lousy now. Anyone who been through this before too?
Tomorrow better be a better day..