I teach U learn

Past 2 days were tiring and 2 days is seriously enough to drain me out. It’s been long since I wake up, seeing still a dark sky and morning birds chirping. Yesterday, was my first day facing a group of 33 primary 3 students, first time hearing students calling me “Miss Yang”, “Cher”….. Before entering the classroom I was quite expecting an obedient class who will listen to what I say and stuffs, but hell NO! They’re god damn noisy and difficult to control!! I was still being sweet and nice in the beginning but became quite impatient afterwards when I gotta repeat “EVERYONE SEAT DOWN!!” 10 times with still 1 or 2 kids standing up. (ARGH!!!!) And then when one asked for permisson to go to the toilet, everyone starts asking the same question too, when i said "No go back to your seat!!!", some gave sad face, some walked back quietly, some gave SUPER constipated face as if the shit/pee is at the checkpoint already, some kneel down begging me, some said "Cher u bias!!!!"....

Wonder if I’m not fierce enough, I screamed at them, used my palms to hit the whiteboard damn hardx3 (machiam spiking a ball) to get attention and asked them to SSSHHHH, and they would give me this attention for probably 1second, max 3 seconds and will start all the noise again… like… ARGHHH!!!! (FIRE BURINING - eh this new song damn nice ok!) Then this teacher came in to tell me that I’m smiling too much, but in fact I’m like damn frustrated lah!! Guess this always happens to me. Mouth structure tends to slant upwards when talking if facing a group of people or like giving presentation. Reminds me of days when we were rehearsing for our Project Work Oral Presentation and Mr Sim says I look VERY HAPPY when presenting, lol cuz I’m like smiling all the time =.=

Oh well, having second thoughts if I’m really suitable to be a teacher. That day I asked a few of my friends if they would feel secured if I was their kid’s subject tutor and all gave a definite no (BEST). These few days when I’m out, I always tend to look for clothes that are very teacher-like, because seriously speaking, only ¼ of my wardrobe (or perhaps even lesser) can make it up to the “teacher’s wardrobe”. I don’t want to be dressed like what all teachers do, being formal. But it’s difficult to find suitable clothing for a teacher yet maintaining my own style. Sigh. That day I was reading through the Trainee Teacher Handbook and came across this page on dress code, see this:

"NIE trainees must be properly attired in a manner befitting the teaching profession when they are in schools or NIE. They are expected to wear suitable clothing and maintain a hair-style that gives an appearance of neatness and decorum. Inappropriate attire, accessories, footwear, as well as outlandish hair colour or long unkempt hair-styles are prohibited. NIE trainees must also be readily identifiable at all times.

NIE trainees are now allowed to wear the following to schools, NIE lecture theatres, tutorial rooms, laboratories, library, etc:
a) Shorts, singlets, sleeveless T-shirts, revealing attire or mini-skirts;
b) Attire printed with offensive wordings;
c) Sandals or slippers

All officers should bear in mind the need for teachers to be good role models for their students at all times, and the need to project a professional image."

WTH. CANT WEAR SHORTS, SANDALS, SLIPPERS TO SCHOOL?!
BEST!!
SIBEI SIAN CAN!!!

I don’t know if I’m starting to have regrets, but whenever I see the offered applications by some Australian Uni for courses like “Bachelor in Marketing and Management” or “Bachelor in Finance and Marketing”, cant help feeling………… What would my life be like in the future if I’ve rejected NIE and accepted these offers? Sigh.

Is this really what I want to do?