It's sad how this lil' space of mine has become so commercialised. It used to be an avenue where i could vent my thoughts on, and the only readership i had came from my own pool of friends. 6 years down the road, my readership went up, not only close friends, but strangers & even relatives are reading it too. Although this means more moolah for me, but i had to become wary on what i could post, what i could not, just so to prevent gossips.
But it's hurtful to know i can't even express what i feel, my own private life, my thoughts on this lil online diary, just cuz now i have to face people's criticism, remarks, especially from my relatives. Anyone able to relate to how i feel? I can't even answer any a-little-bit-more sensitive questions on my formspring anymore cuz people are watching it.. (sorry if i've been deleting &ignoring ur questions) i feel so suffocated, not being able to do things that i used to be able to.
I don't think i'm ANYWHERE near naughty or defiant. I don't smoke, take drugs, get into gang fights, behave like some chowahlian or even anything close to that. I even work to pay for what i want. What's there so much to worry about when i'm alr 21, i know what exactly i'm doing, & of cuz i know how to differentiate what's right and wrong. Hate it when people come up to my parents, telling them stuffs, they get all so worried & hyped up, starts monitoring me, restricting things that i do. Yknow i dont want your words to hurt my parents? when my parents are hurt, i feel hurt too uh? Like i feel i've been an unfilial daughter or some sort. What is this!?
I really hate this feeling.
Times like this, sux to be me.
ps: I'm doing fine here in London :)
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